Selecting an Officiant
Memorable Weddings
The Family Medallion
Interfaith Ceremonies


New England's Most Popular Justice of the Peace/Clergy


By Honorable Reverend Dennis James Robinson

New England Officiant OK.  Here it is.  The article you have all been waiting for.  After a few years of writing for several bridal magazines on various aspects of the wedding business, I finally have succumbed to the pressure of publishing an article about my most bizarre weddings, happenings, requests and down-right strange circumstances that surround the sacrament of getting married.  There are hundreds, but my documentation this writing will be a few of the tops, and not in any particular order:
You have read right.  Several years ago, I received a call from a New York couple that wanted their wedding to be a very private one.  They told me that they were the only attendees and were staying in a luxury suite of a major Boston Hotel.  They told me nothing, just to keep it simple, selecting vows over the telephone.
When I arrived at the hotel, the Concierge called the room, validated my name and arrival time and put them on the phone to me.  I wrote the floor and suite name down and proceeded up the elevator.  Getting off the elevator, I could smell the scent of candy or some reasonable facsimile.  When I knocked on the door, both voices said Come right in, its open.  I walked in and to my astonishment they were in a whirlpool bath filled with orange Jell-O.  I said, Whats going on in here?  They said that they were executives for the Jell-O Corporation and it was their fantasy to get married in it.  They had talked about it throughout their courtship and decided that this was how they would exchange their vows.  I said  Do I have to get in with you?  NO.  Do you at least have bathing suits on?  Just for the ceremony only, they said.  As I left, I knew that this would be one for the books, as I smelled like Jell-O for three days.
At a wedding last year, I had met with the bride and groom about six months before their wedding and they selected a full ceremony to be held at a very popular Chapel in the Newport area.  Having not seen the bride and groom for six months, you sometimes forget what they look like when they get to the rehearsal or the wedding day.  This particular bride was not a good planner for wedding details and forgot to book me in for a rehearsal; subsequently I had two other rehearsals that evening of the planned one for her.  I talked with her wedding planner and told her she would have to run the rehearsal herself.  And all went well.  Standing outside the Chapel waiting for the bride, was a sexton, the photographer, myself and the driver of the grooms limo.  As the bride exited the limo, my mouth dropped open when I actually saw her popping out of her dress!  I could not remember her being quite that big when she was at home.  Of course, it now was quite apparent that she was the recent recipient of a breast augmentation.  Even more impressive were the flowers that the driver took out of the trunk of the limousine.  What a fabulous bouquet.  Roses, Fiji mums, Japanese orchids.  I had never seen a bouquet that beautiful.  I said to the bride, Those are beautiful.  Are they real?  She responded without losing a beat.  Why, no.  I just had them done two months ago, Reverend.  Do you like them?  I looked at the sexton and said:  Was it me?  She said "Reverend, don't even go down that road.  She doesn't get it and it's not worth you even discussing it with her.  As she is so enamored with them, she can think of nothing else."
At a wedding in Boston a few years ago, I married two blind people who just happened to have as the Maid of Honor and Best Man, their Seeing Eye dogs.  All was going well until the dogs seemed to have fallen in love also and were starting to get a little overly friendly with each other.  Not realizing what was going on around them I said:  "I think your attendants are starting the honeymoon without you.  They both immediately tightened he leashes and pulled the dogs apart from one another.  We went on without incident.
Having been warned by the groom that his ex-girlfriend was insanely jealous and was planning to disrupt his wedding, I was on the lookout for something to happen during the ceremony.  Overlooking a beautiful golf course from the patio, the ceremony was going along well until I asked the bride if she took this man to be her husband.  Before she could answer, I heard an I DO coming from the fairway of the golf course.  I turned around and saw a lovely young lady in a white dress holding dandelions in her hand like a bouquet.  The guests could not see her because they were seated, but she kept running around the fairway appearing and reappearing every few minutes.  The groom was horrified and after the ceremony everyone was running around looking for her, to no avail.  Her parting shot was to climb on top of the limo, which was unattended at the time, and proceeded to squirt lighter fluid all over the trunk and hood, spelling I LOVE YOU on it and lit in on fire.  That was my queue to leave as I thought that I would be next.  I never heard from any of them again.
One groom was so in love with his girlfriend that he kept staring at her throughout the ceremony.  She also had quite a low cut dress on as well, and when I told him to repeat after me he responded:  I take you to be my wife and my BREAST friend, instead of BEST friend.  The audience was hysterical.  All I could say was:  I am glad that's your mistake and not mine.
Three years ago I pulled up to a very popular Chapel in Massachusetts that averages about five weddings a day.  At 9:30 in the morning with a 10 o'clock start, two women were having coffee and bagels in the parking lot.  They said:  Is the wedding starting now?  I said, Very shortly.  They proceeded to put their coffee away and rushed into the chapel.  Not recognizing anyone in the audience or even the parents as they came down the aisle, they were looking at each other in puzzlement.  As the bride proceeded down the aisle, they looked at each other and said:  That's not my niece.  Of course they were at the wrong wedding but they cried all through the ceremony as if they were paid wailers.  After, they approached me and said:  Is there another wedding here today?  I said that the next one starts in 45 minutes.  That must be our wedding they said and had to go out and get more tissues from the car to prepare for another round of crying.
Last June I married a lovely couple with only three guests present.  The bride was at full term of her pregnancy and wanted to be married before the baby came.  We set a date and location.  At the ceremony, the bride was gasping for air and breathing quite heavily.  I married them at 1:30 in the afternoon.  On the way to their dinner destination, the bride told the driver to head straight for the hospital.  She had the baby at 3:10.  One hour and ten minutes after I pronounced them husband and wife. wedding officiant
The groom came to the wedding with a 45-motorcycle escort and the bride, who was an exotic dancer, came with a 200-motorcycle escort.  She, however, sat in a sidecar with her rather racy wedding dress on.  Her veil was sticking up straight in the air pulling up to the chapel.  When I asked her if she took this man to be her husband, she immediately pulled on this zip away or pull away dress like she was going to do her act, and she said:  Yes I do baby.  No one was taken aback considering their reputations, but I told her to put the dress back on so I could finish the ceremony.  She had planned on it anyway, but wanted a little bit of shock value.  All I could do was put my hand over my heart like Fred Sanford used to do having one of his patented heart attacks.
Getting married on boats seem to be very popular these days, but for me, the time spent on a full four hour cruise is not worth the valuable time lost on other weddings that day.  One groom said to me that he would have the boat go out in the harbor and then return and drop me off so I could honor a wedding to take place two hours later.  After the ceremony, the boat started heading out to sea.  I immediately climbed up on the bridge and told the captain he was making a mistake.  That I had 245 people waiting for me at a Unitarian Church in Boston.  I was supposed to be dropped off after the ceremony.  He said that no arrangements were made to do so.  I told him that if he didn't turn this boat around that I had no recourse but to jump into the harbor and swim ashore.  I grabbed a life preserver and put it on.  He said that he would have to bill the bride and groom an additional $200 for a docking fee.  I told the groom that he should have made the necessary arrangements and that I would rather drown than to let 245 people think that I was out cruising around the harbor with them.  To this day I swear I would have jumped and faced the consequences, than to miss someones wedding on a broken promise.
clergy There are so many incidents that have happened over the years and after over 3,400 weddings you expect things to happen.  Some stand out more than others, but I honestly feel that I have one of the most exciting jobs in the world.  Ninety-eight percent of my weddings are just normal people with normal lives and backgrounds.  The strange ones are the ones you remember for quite some time.  I have shared these moments with you for entertainment only and wish you a wonderful wedding and a happy, healthy life together.  GOD BLESS.
Other Articles:
Selecting a Wedding Officiant
The Family Medallion - Everybody Got Married
Interfaith Ceremonies
Click below for more info:
Welcome   Services   Celebrities/VIP   Articles   Testimonials
Preferred Vendors   Reception Sites

Honorable Reverend Dennis James Robinson
New England's Most Popular Justice of the Peace/Clergy
For more personal service please call: (508) 435-4412 
 274 West Main St   Hopkinton, MA 01748
Copyright Honorable Reverend Dennis James Robinson, 2001-2016